Picture This

long Diana Ross type hair (but bleach blonde) flowing in the wind +

long, slender legs +

olive skin+

high cheek bones +

very white blazer and pants - (minus) anything under the blazer (nothing but breasts people)+

very "happan'in shades +

An "old school" bicycle (pedals, 2 wheels, some steel and a bell) =



A DUDE!

Only here folks. I've never seen fashion statements like the ones they make out here. Sure, its the "Fashion Capitol of the World" but my definition of "fashion" is definitely not in their dictionary. Hey - more power to ya - feel free to express yourself any way you want - but you better not judge me for wearing jeans, a hoodie, and flip flops at the grocery store on a Sunday. Fair is fair.

New words...

Quindi (Kwin dee) = "So"
Dimi (Dih mee)= "Tell me" equivalent to the American version of "what can I do for you?"
Prego (Pray gho)= "Hello" - and here we thought it was tomato sauce this whole time!
Buonasera (Buohn ah ser ah)= "Good evening" - they don't say this until after 7pm.
Alora (Ah lor ah)= the American "um" or "uh". I think the Italian version sounds more intelligent ;)
Va bene (Vah ben ay) = "alright"
Fratello (Frah tell o) = brother
Avocatto (Ah voh cott o) = a lawyer. I remember this by thinking of an avocado and changing the "d" to "tt". Its not an exact science - but it works for me :)!

I have lived in Italy now for 54 days. Tomorrow I am scheduled to get what Americans would call "basic cable" installed. This is the third attempt. The first attempt, the cable guy said, in his words "I don't have box". The second time they just decided that they had already worked a long, hard day and will just "catch me later" - what we would call a "no show". Tomorrow is lucky number 3. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Half the battle is getting them here. The other half is trying to communicate with them.

I had my third "wrong number" telephone call tonight. Its somewhat amusing because all I say is non parlo Italiano - male numero - which as I'm sure you could tell means, "I don't speak Italian - bad number". I don't know how to say "wrong" yet, so "bad" is the best I could come up with. He just kept talkin and talkin as if I was going to miraculously understand him. He called back 3 times. I think we are friends now.

Buona notte (Buohn ah no tay) - Good night!

Jamie