Away from home

I usually try to keep my posts upbeat, informative, and hopefully entertaining, but I need to take a minute to acknowledge the hardest circumstance I've faced yet.

My mom had a heart-attack on Saturday, Feb 13th. She was giving a school presentation when the begining stages of the heart-attach come on. She, of course, finished her presentation (and was told she got an A) and then decided to go drive herself to the doctor because the pain she was feeling was something she never experienced before. She called me swearing it was just indigestion, but thought it would be best to check it out while the Kaiser office was still open. She arrived, they did an EKG and rushed her to Good Samaritans Hospital.

The decision she made to go to the hospital saved her life. She called me to let me know what was going on. At this point it was approx. 10:30pm in Germany. I was very worried and told her I would be awake until I heard from her again with an update.

Long story short - she had a spontaneous dissection of the circumflex artery. This is a very rare type of heart attack which resulted in all the cardiologists/cardiac surgeons meeting to decide what to do for her. They decided it would be best to try and stent the artery's affected by the dissection. One stent worked and the other two failed, resulting in one collapsed artery and the other barely functioning.

Once the doctors realized there wasn't much they could do without making the problems worse, they decided to let my mom have the heart attack and monitor her closely...

There was a critical 48 hour window that I didn't know about until the 3rd day after the "event". My mom has survived yet another traumatic medical procedure/event and is expected to make a near-full recovery (aside from the heart damage sustained due to the heart attack).

What is a girl to do? I'm in Germany - at minimum 30 hours away from reaching her. At the time of all the commotion on day 1 - I was told she had an "crucial 8 hour window" where they were really concerned for her life. Even if I had all the money in the world - I wouldn't be able to reach her in time. It was the worst feeling I've ever had. I was completely helpless, alone, and thinking (very dangerous for girls when they are emotional).

The one thing that I prayed would not happen during my "oversees experience" was that my family fall ill or become seriously injured. Of course you hope things like this never happen - but you REALLY hope they don't happen while your so far away.

This last week was a huge eye opener for me. To be completely honest, I still don't know if I made the right decision.

What was my decision, you ask? Well, ironically I was already scheduled to fly home on Feb. 19th for 8 days for family visit and a few days of work stuff. The travel was booked approx 6 weeks ago and everything was set. Then you get "the call". Should I leave the second I hear of an illness or injury? Should I wait? Will I totally regret my decision? Am I over-reacting? Well, given the circumstances, and what I was told of the "critical 8 hour window", I decided to wait and see what happened... You have to keep in mind that a flight from Europe to Denver usually takes around 20 hours on average. I didn't want to put myself out-of-reach for the next day, so I waited.

My mom survived like she always does... and thank goodness. I just don't know what I would have done if something went terribly wrong and I didn't get to see her again.

Not to sound to hallmark-y, but wow - you really need to make every moment count, don't go to bed angry - or in my case - don't leave the country angry and talk often.

I love my family more than they know. I know life isn't fair, and I know we can't prevent the unexpected, but if I can prevent the feelings I've felt over the past week, I will.

Amore a tutti e grazie per il tuo prayers

Buona notte~
Jamie