Strange But True... part 1

Wow Factor:
Did you know that the majority of Italians do not know what a garbage disposal is??? Including my boss who is British. Its true. Its true, and its a shame. Well, its a shame for me because I miss having one!! I'm managing without - but man, can't tell you how many times I've found myself rinsing dishes... then having a mini heart attack as I am trying stop what I had just done.

I learn by repetition...

Driving:
I've come to realize that, in Italy, street lights and signs are merely a suggestion... I'm certain that the intention of installing the traffic lights and yield signs was put in place to provide a bit of order and sanity, but if you leave it to the Italians to interpret on their own you better watch out! I think I've mentioned this before but what makes this so fascinating for me is that Italians have mastered controlled chaos. I see less accidents here than I did in Colorado. Absolutely amazing. Oh and if you ride a scooter or motorcycle - you really don't have to follow ANY rules. It is bizarre how they own the roads - unless, of course they find themselves under a car... but that's a different story. They are - by far- the worst/unsafe drivers on the road here. Even worse than taxis.

To top it off, the speed limits are in kph (kilometers per hour), not mph - there are soooo many conversions I need to know. Who said being different was better!?

Birthdays
If it is your birthday, Italian tradition leaves it to the birthday girl/boy to cover the tab!?!?! That's right, nothing says happy birthday like an 80 Euro tab from your friends. I like birthdays too much to allow this to continue on. Of course I've tried my hardest to conform/adopted and accept the "Italian ways" since I arrived without issue, but the line is drawn here. A colleague and friend of mine recently had a birthday. I brought her a gift and took her to lunch. She couldn't believe it. I think this is one American tradition that the Italians pick up...


Return Policy:
Italy only has a 6 day return policy on all consumer goods? So if you buy a TV, for example, and it starts acting funny on day 4, and of course day 5 happens to be a Sunday and they are closed, you had better get that TV back to the store the next day otherwise you are the new proud owner of a 400 euro piece of crap. You can try to go through the actual maker - but rumor has it the only thing you walk away with is frustration. And if you buy clothes - almost all stores only allow exchanges and never give money back. Another lesson I learned the hard way...


Grocery Store Adventure:
First of all, it is important to point out the fact that you have to pay for grocery bags or "saccetti" when you go to the grocery store? I think they cost around 10 cents each. Once I learned this, I bought a few canvas bags to use instead of wasting money on plastic bags.

They will ask you, "Saccetti?" (bag?) Then I usually have to say, "Si, due grazie". Whydo I say "Si"? Because I almost always forget my canvas bags! Then, you walk to the end of the checkout counter and quickly bag your own groceries. You don't have time to separate meats from dairy or detergent from soda. The pressure is on to pay and get out of the way. Once the checker is finished scanning your items (which is pretty quick - I think all of them hate their jobs immensely) he'll say something like, "venti due quaranta" (22.40). You should try your hardest to give them exact change. Handing them 50 euros will only get you a dirty look and some mumbling while they are shaking their head at you in disgust. Why, you ask? They expect you to make exact change for them! Odd, right?!

Of course, it doesn't stop there. While paying, putting your money away and bagging your groceries - the cashier has already moved on to the next person. You now have approximately 1 minute to get your act together, finished bagging your stuff and get out of the way. If not, you're just annoying the customers in line. They have a clear as day look that says, "c'mon, what is taking her so long?" or "God!" or "We don't have all day". Fair enough. It took me a little while to catch on to the process... like I said, I learn by repetition...

Italians Speaking English:
So far, I think it is safe to say that in general, Italians (those that can speak decent English) think everything is "impossible" or "disasterous". That is still really hard for me to get used to. I was raised to think that "nothing was impossible" and I define a disaster as Hurricane Katrina or the Haiti Earthquake.

On the contrary, I DO NOT consider someone forgetting to send an email or missing a step in an administrative process a "disaster", nor do I think that just because you don't know how to do something it would automatically make it "impossible".

Another interesting comparison is when an English speaking Italian is explaining (in English) how they really enjoyed the service a person or company provided, or like the way something worked. They will describe it as "delicious". Not great, good, wonderful, fantastic, but delicious. For example, a colleague the other day was talking about her tailor and said, "Yes, yes he is just delicious." Ummm.. okay - I guess that works.

Cooking:
Here is something you probably did know... Italians take their cooking VERY seriously. I've had a large number of men ask me if I cook. Of course I lie and say, "Yes" followed with a sarcastic, "do you have a microwave?" Everyone laughs and thinks I'm just being funny. Then they almost always ask me, "When you cook pasta, do you let the water boil first and then add the pasta, or do you put the pasta in before the water is boiling?" My initial thought (which I do not say out loud) is, "well, I've got a 50/50 shot here." One thing I know is that Italians live by tradition. AND, traditionally, I believe the water should be boiling before the pasta is added in. So, after my 5 second analysis I say, "I let the water boil first." I say if very confidently as if implying, "why, didn't you know that?". My answer is a huge success. They let out a sigh of relief as if how I cooked pasta was going to affect them some day. I felt the urge to tell them that I would never put myself in that type of situation so not to worry.

Come to find out Americans have a reputation of - as the Italian men say, "just throwing the noodles in before the water is boiling - can you believe it, its unbelievable!?!" Then, as usual, I say, "Yes, yes I can". Then they laugh as of I'm just being funny again.

Just in case you were wondering, I really do boil my water first :).

My Italian:
Well, I need to get up in 6 hours so I am saying buona notte. Ma (but), before I go I would like to close on a good note. Early last week I said my first full Italian sentence WITHOUT help and WITHOUT screwing it up. It was to a taxi driver - which means he was my only witness so you're just going to have to trust me on this one...

I said, "Scusa, ho solo cinquanta euro".

I was apologizing to the taxi driver because I only had 50 euros. Remember what I said above about correct change....

A presto e amore a tutti!
Jme