I did it!

I rode a bicycle from my flat to my office. I know it doesn't sound like that big of a deal as it is only about a 20 minute ride, but if you had to do it on the road with the cars, motorbikes, buses, trolleys and trams you would be pretty proud of yourself! The cobblestones - small and large - are a bit painful on a bike, but all part of the experience. It only took me 8 months to get the courage to try - now I ride a bicycle everywhere :)!

The Iceland ash-cloud is really screwing with the weather here so I think I'm going to miss out on my first Italian spring. I'm not looking forward to the scorching hot summer, but I am looking forward to the sun coming out again! The entire month of May has been gray and rainy... apparently due to the volcano eruptions.

So over the past few weeks I've had a lot of flat related issues... again. First, after they "fixed the leak" i.e. painting over the water stains earlier this month. In that same week a technician came out to fix my shower. Then, two days later my washing machine stopped working. Mind you the washing machine is ancient and nearly fossilized. Regardless, my Italian landlord insisted that a technician come in to look at it. Now the washing machine works on only one setting and I have to hit the top of it anytime is starts "having problems". What the heck does that mean???

And now, surprise surprise, the leak... and stains are back.

Anyway - I'm finally getting used to the mentality and approach to things out there... still don't understand them, but now I can at least anticipate whats coming.

Other things I've learned:

Italians like to practice their English with Americans more than the British. The British have the reputation of being "snobs" (thier words, not mine) here. Its funny because I get it... I understand why the Britians get this reputation. Americans would probably have the same reputation if there were more of us out here for longer than two weeks at a time. The biggest attraction Italians have to me is that I'm a native English speaker and they automatically want to practice their English with me. It gets pretty annoying... its just like someone only liking you for your money or what you have to offer. No one is really looking to "get to know you".

Sun-bathing in public parks is a very common thing here. Normally this wouldn't be an exciting topic of conversation but what makes it different is that a lot of the men take off all their clothes (except underware) and lay-out. Again, not too surprising, except that I'm finding most Italian men wear speedos, and I'm sure we all agree that only a small percentage of people in the world can pull off a speedo... Women are also laying out - but usually with shorts and tank-tops.

A quick update on my previous "maids" post:
I'm finding that they are VERY common and apparently I'm crazy for not having one! They are very inexpensive so just about everyone I've met has a maid come at least 1/wk.

Alora, manco molto tutto e eccitato ci vediamo in Augosto!
I miss everyone very much and excited to see you in August.

Ciao!
Jme

A special thanks... and Lake Como

I want to send a special note to my friend, Dana. I miss you!!!!

Dana came out to visit me the week of Easter. An emergency project at work took me away from my vacation and in the office for 15 -20 hour days. Dana continued on our adventure by herself and had an amazing time...

Dana - so sorry I missed most of our time together but promise to make it up to you!!

We did squeeze in a couple days of fun. Below is our trip to Lake Como. No sighting of George Clooney - but the natural views of Como and Bellagio were more than enough for me ... can't speak for Dana though ;)!


Boat ride on our way to Bellagio!

Bellagio - near the port

Ride back from Bellagio to Como

Boat ride from Como to Bellagio - I have no idea why these pics are so mixed up!!! sorry.

Dana and I on one of the many cobble stone stairways of Bellagio!

The BEST rissotto I've ever had and probably will ever have! Strawberry flavored with champagne! DELICIOUS!

Me... at the Bellagio port

Speaks for itself :)

Our first sight of Lake Como! Gorgeous!

DANA! At the Lake Como train station.

I think it is worth mentioning that Dana and I had exactly 14 minutes to get from the Lake Como port to the Lake Como train station in order to make our train. We ran (almost) the whole way there and made it with 4 minutes to spare. We arrive on the train platform to find out the train is going to be 20 minutes late... welcome to Italy.

Ciaooooo

Amore a tutti!

Jme

One big difference

between Italian men and American men...

I went to an apperativo last Tuesday with my Canadian friend, Nicole. Nicole brought her boss, Lorenzo. Long story short - Lorenzo is engaged to Carmen and they have a 1-year old boy together. Lorenzo is interested in Nicole.

At some point in the night, Lorenzo asked Nicole what I thought of him. She said, "Jamie thinks you are trouble." He says, "Jamie, you think I trouble?" I say, "Si."

Right about this time Lorenzo's friend, Paulo, shows up... late 30's/ early 40's - married with 3 children - speaks almost zero English... but just enough to say to Nicole and I (after being there for 10 minutes), "I you to know, you most beautiful in world. Me very happy you here to be share tonight." He continued this theme for another 10 minutes. I responded with, "Where are your wife and kids tonight?"

Another hour passes and I end up standing outside with Lorenzo have a discussion about his feelings towards Nicole. Here's the gist of the conversation:

"Lorenzo"
"Jamie"

Jamie, just listen, people change.

I know.

I'm not trouble, its just that Carmen changed after she had our son.

Right, which is totally normal.

Yeah, but I did not. I still like to drive fast. I still like to go out late at night. I still like to drink and smoke.

And you like to pursue other women.

Well, not all women. Nicole is different to me. Nicole makes me feel lots of energy. I love being around her.

Right, well if what you say is true and its Nicole that you want, then you need to go home and tell your fiance that you shouldn't marry anyone because you want to be with other women.

No, Jamie, why would I ruin my family if I don't know if there is chemistry with me and Nicole? I need to kiss Nicole and have sex with Nicole before I would ruin my family. Why would I tell Carmen this?

Because otherwise you are CHEATING ON HER!!
Wow, you really chose the wrong person to talk to about this, Lorenzo.

No, Jamie, what do you mean? Ok, but what if Nicole and I don't have sparks? I tell Carmen and hurt her for nothing? That doesn't make any sense.

You tell Carmen because that is the right thing to do. You would want her to tell you, right?

[Blank stare]

Lorenzo, the truth will come out eventually. You want the best of both worlds. If you respect Carmen at all you would tell her that you don't want to marry her. You're wrong. Stop being selfish remember that your actions do affect others.

But Jamie, come on, people change.

You keep saying that as if it is going to change my opinion. Lorenzo, let me put it this way. If you can treat Carmen this way, then there is no reason why she can't do the same. Are you OK with Carmen kissing and sleeping with other men just to see if she likes them more than you?

Well, Jamie, I can't say anything to that.

Really? Why not?

Jamie, ok, I see your point, but c'mon.

C'mon what, Lorenzo? You're a grown man and I shouldn't have to explain this to you. You're wrong and you know it. I'm going back inside now.

I walked back into the bar and told Nicole I was heading home. Lorenzo thanked me for the "talk". If looks could talk my look said, "Are you freak'in kidding me?" Thats 25 minutes of my life I'll never get back. If it wasn't for the 2 tasty mohitto's I had, the night would have been a complete waste.

I walked home in disbelief.

As you may - or may not - know, having a mistress is very popular in Italy. Part of this is due to the fact that getting a divorce in Italy is much, much more complicated than in the US and takes a minimum of 3 years to finalize. So many couples agree to split (while, by law, staying married) and having relationships with other people. They stay married to avoid the legal battle while continuing to benefit from the tax breaks...

But then you have the Berlusconi's of the world (Prime Minister of Italy) who believe having more than one women is their right and women should be so lucky. Anytime a duomo statue souvenir (or anything with sharp edges) is thrown at the face of men like this, you have my respect.

http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2009/12/13/berlusconi-attacked.html

My boss once asked me, "If you were Tiger Wood's wife, would you forgive him?" I looked at him and said, "Would you forgive your wife?" He responded, "Right, so No then." I said, "No, I wouldn't."

So at the end of the day I can say with confidence that American men are more evolved than Italian men in this regard. American men know better than to try and convince a women that cheating on his family/girlfriend/fiance is OK... regardless of what they really feel on the subject. Its important that I acknowledge that there are shameful women who act the same way - and I feel just as strongly about them...

What does that mean for me? That the probability of me marrying an Italian man is extremely low .... especially considering the fact that Italian men usually come with a controlling mother and a very high opinion of themselves (particularly over women). No grazie!

I don't think Italy has enjoyed the company of many women like me.

I'll close by acknowledging that there are some great men and women out there who know what it means to honor and love someone through the good and the bad. I thank each of you (and you know who you are) for giving me the hope and frankly, proof, that this type of love exists. .

<3 Jme

Munich, Germany

OK -- lets do pics first.

Typical Feb/March day in Germany. I was so sick of the snow and cold... it was nice to get back to Milan!

Here is the very famous Marlenplatz. I'm pretty sure I spelled that wrong. This was the only sunny day the entire time I was there!

Of course, the sausage. Doesn't look good to me but was very popular there!

My first German pretzel. Pretty good :). I was standing inside the Hard Rock Cafe - Munich. Pretty cool

Yes - they still wear this stuff...
















The drunk soccer (football) fans.
They were screaming and chanting for hours!















Germany is actually very similar to Colorado - aside from the language and hours of operation. The shops close for lunch for a couple hours and almost all stores are closed by 6pm!! I don't get it... Whats the point? When do people do their shopping? Well - to give credit where credits due... most companies close around 2 or 3pm on Fridays to give people time for shopping. Pretty relaxed life out here.

I was asked to relocate to Germany for a month to help out our colleagues in our Munich office. So they put me up in a flat and said, "OK, great see you tomorrow". They weren't the most helpful for me in regards to the basics... e.g. where is the grocery store? where is the nearest subway? How do I turn on the heat? what the hell is going on ;)? Sink or swim has been a very familiar feeling lately.

There was, however, a girl named Vanessa who was very good to me. I was actually training her to take my place so that I could get back to my normal day job in Milan. She took me to the grocery store and picked me up and dropped me off almost every day I was there. In general, the Germans are very nice. Of course I looked like them so I fit in much better there. Most assumed I was German and started speaking to me in German right away. It didn't take long for them to realized I wasn't - but it was nice not to be judged immediately ;).

Germany is a lot like Colorado. The air is dry, VERY cold (it is actually colder in Germany), and the people are really nice. Food was pretty good. I'm not a big red meat eater so the weinerschnitzel and other sausage type foods were not on my menu - but overall the food was good. Same with the beer - can't drink a lot of it, but what I did have was great.

I went to the famous Munich Carnival in March. It is very similar to Halloween with out the tick-or-treaters. Lots of live entertainment, drinking and dressing up. I suppose it is a Halloween for adults!

I was looking forward to going to the Disney Castle and taking time for Dachau Concentration Camp but both weekends I was there it was snowing - blizzard like snow. Totally sucked.

All-in-all a good time and happy I spent time there.

I picked up a few words but have no idea how to spell most of them so I'll leave it alone :)!

Went to London last week - loved it!!! Will post some of those pics soon!

Ciao
jme

Away from home

I usually try to keep my posts upbeat, informative, and hopefully entertaining, but I need to take a minute to acknowledge the hardest circumstance I've faced yet.

My mom had a heart-attack on Saturday, Feb 13th. She was giving a school presentation when the begining stages of the heart-attach come on. She, of course, finished her presentation (and was told she got an A) and then decided to go drive herself to the doctor because the pain she was feeling was something she never experienced before. She called me swearing it was just indigestion, but thought it would be best to check it out while the Kaiser office was still open. She arrived, they did an EKG and rushed her to Good Samaritans Hospital.

The decision she made to go to the hospital saved her life. She called me to let me know what was going on. At this point it was approx. 10:30pm in Germany. I was very worried and told her I would be awake until I heard from her again with an update.

Long story short - she had a spontaneous dissection of the circumflex artery. This is a very rare type of heart attack which resulted in all the cardiologists/cardiac surgeons meeting to decide what to do for her. They decided it would be best to try and stent the artery's affected by the dissection. One stent worked and the other two failed, resulting in one collapsed artery and the other barely functioning.

Once the doctors realized there wasn't much they could do without making the problems worse, they decided to let my mom have the heart attack and monitor her closely...

There was a critical 48 hour window that I didn't know about until the 3rd day after the "event". My mom has survived yet another traumatic medical procedure/event and is expected to make a near-full recovery (aside from the heart damage sustained due to the heart attack).

What is a girl to do? I'm in Germany - at minimum 30 hours away from reaching her. At the time of all the commotion on day 1 - I was told she had an "crucial 8 hour window" where they were really concerned for her life. Even if I had all the money in the world - I wouldn't be able to reach her in time. It was the worst feeling I've ever had. I was completely helpless, alone, and thinking (very dangerous for girls when they are emotional).

The one thing that I prayed would not happen during my "oversees experience" was that my family fall ill or become seriously injured. Of course you hope things like this never happen - but you REALLY hope they don't happen while your so far away.

This last week was a huge eye opener for me. To be completely honest, I still don't know if I made the right decision.

What was my decision, you ask? Well, ironically I was already scheduled to fly home on Feb. 19th for 8 days for family visit and a few days of work stuff. The travel was booked approx 6 weeks ago and everything was set. Then you get "the call". Should I leave the second I hear of an illness or injury? Should I wait? Will I totally regret my decision? Am I over-reacting? Well, given the circumstances, and what I was told of the "critical 8 hour window", I decided to wait and see what happened... You have to keep in mind that a flight from Europe to Denver usually takes around 20 hours on average. I didn't want to put myself out-of-reach for the next day, so I waited.

My mom survived like she always does... and thank goodness. I just don't know what I would have done if something went terribly wrong and I didn't get to see her again.

Not to sound to hallmark-y, but wow - you really need to make every moment count, don't go to bed angry - or in my case - don't leave the country angry and talk often.

I love my family more than they know. I know life isn't fair, and I know we can't prevent the unexpected, but if I can prevent the feelings I've felt over the past week, I will.

Amore a tutti e grazie per il tuo prayers

Buona notte~
Jamie

And then he said...

"questo sono inventzione"

Wait, wait (Aspetta, aspetta) let me start from the beginning...

I arrive back from my vacation in the states to find a small crack in the ceiling of my entry way (which is near the bathroom) and in my bathroom there is a yellow stained ceiling and a small tear in the "drywall" or whatever it is that they use here which seems to be the result of a water leak "from above". There are four levels in my building, I live on the third. Therefore, if all things are logical in the world, its safe to assume something is leaking from my neighbors above. Let me just take this moment to say how excited I was for having the opportunity to experience first hand how problems like this are handled in Italy. Some prefer a hole in the head...

OK. Long story short, it took me one week and a lot of "hard" (physically and mentally) Italian conversations with my portinaio (i.e. grounds keeper) to find out what the proper process is to handle issues like this. Silly me... assuming there is such a process... I know better by now.

OK. So my apt is leased through my company (i.e. they signed the dotted line) so all issues are suppose to route through them. The girl I was working with was "molto occupato" very occupied/busy and just couldn't get around to making the call to my "landlord". Everyone I told about the "leak" said, "Don't let that wait" or "That is a big problem" or "Ah, very urgent". YA THINK! Geez! Finally, once a different lady "took over" I got an apt right away.

It is now 8:30am Monday morning, February 1st. My buzzer rings. Its Signora Terabucci (I believe she is 70-something yrs old and is the current "landlord" or "owner" of my apt) and another gentleman (who we will call "Luigi" b/c I can't remember his name). Luigi is some sort of contractor or something - I assumed. They come in and first I point to the ceiling in the entry way. Signora Terabucci looks up and says, "Oh mio dio, terribile, mamma mia". I then walk them into my bathroom hesitantly, worried the little old Italian lady was going to have a heart attack (as the bathroom was much, much worse) and pointed to the ceiling again. I think she had a minor heart attach... she started talking really fast and saying some really bad words about my neighbors above. It is safe to assume she has had similar problems in the past with these particular people.

Then she asks me "Quando" which implied the question, "When did this happen" I told her I was on vacation and when I got home on January 7th, this is what I saw. She flipped out asking me why it took so long for me to call her and how urgent of a matter this was... I didn't have the energy or patience to remind her that the country we currently live in functions completely and totally without process or any sense of urgency. So instead I told her my office needed to call (in broken Italian). She didn't understand and that is par for the course... I just smiled.

After some poking and prodding of the bathroom ceiling, Luigi goes upstairs to see if my neighbors were home. Five minutes later Luigi comes back with two more Italian men. Hey look at that, its my neighbors I've never met. I now have three Italian men and Signora Terabucci in my little apartment. The two neighbors see Signora Terabucci and one of them (we will call "Mario") immediately rolled his eyes a put his hands in a praying position and shaking them up and down ( a VERY common expression used to emphasis the current emotions their feeling - I call it "Talking with hands").

The two men have the opportunity to inspect the "problem at hand". They are all talking at the same time and the decibel level begins to rise. I think to myself, "If three of you would just shut up for two seconds and listen I could probably get to work a lot quicker". It is not how they do things here - in general. The culture is very consistent in this manner - they talk over eachother constantly. I hear Mario say in Italian "It could be your leak, it could be my leak, we do not know." There goes any hope for the logical approach I mentioned earlier. Signora Terabucci goes off and you could tell she was throwing accusations all over the place.... very entertaining but not helpful, and this is when Mario says, "questo sono inventzione" which translates exactly to "That you are inventing." I laughed out loud.

After a lot more bickering, hundreds of pictures and each of them walking in and out of my bathroom (very very small bathroom) 10-15 times each, the result was that Signora Terabucci would contact her lawyer and send the "proper documentation" to my neighbors insisting they investigate the leak, and if confirmed it is their leak - they fix it.

There is a small chance my ceiling will be fixed before my 4th floor neighbors become roommates.

I will NEVER start a Monday that way again. I will wait until at least Tuesday - believe me it is worth it.

Amore a tutti! Buona notte e ciao!
Jme

Strange But True... part 1

Wow Factor:
Did you know that the majority of Italians do not know what a garbage disposal is??? Including my boss who is British. Its true. Its true, and its a shame. Well, its a shame for me because I miss having one!! I'm managing without - but man, can't tell you how many times I've found myself rinsing dishes... then having a mini heart attack as I am trying stop what I had just done.

I learn by repetition...

Driving:
I've come to realize that, in Italy, street lights and signs are merely a suggestion... I'm certain that the intention of installing the traffic lights and yield signs was put in place to provide a bit of order and sanity, but if you leave it to the Italians to interpret on their own you better watch out! I think I've mentioned this before but what makes this so fascinating for me is that Italians have mastered controlled chaos. I see less accidents here than I did in Colorado. Absolutely amazing. Oh and if you ride a scooter or motorcycle - you really don't have to follow ANY rules. It is bizarre how they own the roads - unless, of course they find themselves under a car... but that's a different story. They are - by far- the worst/unsafe drivers on the road here. Even worse than taxis.

To top it off, the speed limits are in kph (kilometers per hour), not mph - there are soooo many conversions I need to know. Who said being different was better!?

Birthdays
If it is your birthday, Italian tradition leaves it to the birthday girl/boy to cover the tab!?!?! That's right, nothing says happy birthday like an 80 Euro tab from your friends. I like birthdays too much to allow this to continue on. Of course I've tried my hardest to conform/adopted and accept the "Italian ways" since I arrived without issue, but the line is drawn here. A colleague and friend of mine recently had a birthday. I brought her a gift and took her to lunch. She couldn't believe it. I think this is one American tradition that the Italians pick up...


Return Policy:
Italy only has a 6 day return policy on all consumer goods? So if you buy a TV, for example, and it starts acting funny on day 4, and of course day 5 happens to be a Sunday and they are closed, you had better get that TV back to the store the next day otherwise you are the new proud owner of a 400 euro piece of crap. You can try to go through the actual maker - but rumor has it the only thing you walk away with is frustration. And if you buy clothes - almost all stores only allow exchanges and never give money back. Another lesson I learned the hard way...


Grocery Store Adventure:
First of all, it is important to point out the fact that you have to pay for grocery bags or "saccetti" when you go to the grocery store? I think they cost around 10 cents each. Once I learned this, I bought a few canvas bags to use instead of wasting money on plastic bags.

They will ask you, "Saccetti?" (bag?) Then I usually have to say, "Si, due grazie". Whydo I say "Si"? Because I almost always forget my canvas bags! Then, you walk to the end of the checkout counter and quickly bag your own groceries. You don't have time to separate meats from dairy or detergent from soda. The pressure is on to pay and get out of the way. Once the checker is finished scanning your items (which is pretty quick - I think all of them hate their jobs immensely) he'll say something like, "venti due quaranta" (22.40). You should try your hardest to give them exact change. Handing them 50 euros will only get you a dirty look and some mumbling while they are shaking their head at you in disgust. Why, you ask? They expect you to make exact change for them! Odd, right?!

Of course, it doesn't stop there. While paying, putting your money away and bagging your groceries - the cashier has already moved on to the next person. You now have approximately 1 minute to get your act together, finished bagging your stuff and get out of the way. If not, you're just annoying the customers in line. They have a clear as day look that says, "c'mon, what is taking her so long?" or "God!" or "We don't have all day". Fair enough. It took me a little while to catch on to the process... like I said, I learn by repetition...

Italians Speaking English:
So far, I think it is safe to say that in general, Italians (those that can speak decent English) think everything is "impossible" or "disasterous". That is still really hard for me to get used to. I was raised to think that "nothing was impossible" and I define a disaster as Hurricane Katrina or the Haiti Earthquake.

On the contrary, I DO NOT consider someone forgetting to send an email or missing a step in an administrative process a "disaster", nor do I think that just because you don't know how to do something it would automatically make it "impossible".

Another interesting comparison is when an English speaking Italian is explaining (in English) how they really enjoyed the service a person or company provided, or like the way something worked. They will describe it as "delicious". Not great, good, wonderful, fantastic, but delicious. For example, a colleague the other day was talking about her tailor and said, "Yes, yes he is just delicious." Ummm.. okay - I guess that works.

Cooking:
Here is something you probably did know... Italians take their cooking VERY seriously. I've had a large number of men ask me if I cook. Of course I lie and say, "Yes" followed with a sarcastic, "do you have a microwave?" Everyone laughs and thinks I'm just being funny. Then they almost always ask me, "When you cook pasta, do you let the water boil first and then add the pasta, or do you put the pasta in before the water is boiling?" My initial thought (which I do not say out loud) is, "well, I've got a 50/50 shot here." One thing I know is that Italians live by tradition. AND, traditionally, I believe the water should be boiling before the pasta is added in. So, after my 5 second analysis I say, "I let the water boil first." I say if very confidently as if implying, "why, didn't you know that?". My answer is a huge success. They let out a sigh of relief as if how I cooked pasta was going to affect them some day. I felt the urge to tell them that I would never put myself in that type of situation so not to worry.

Come to find out Americans have a reputation of - as the Italian men say, "just throwing the noodles in before the water is boiling - can you believe it, its unbelievable!?!" Then, as usual, I say, "Yes, yes I can". Then they laugh as of I'm just being funny again.

Just in case you were wondering, I really do boil my water first :).

My Italian:
Well, I need to get up in 6 hours so I am saying buona notte. Ma (but), before I go I would like to close on a good note. Early last week I said my first full Italian sentence WITHOUT help and WITHOUT screwing it up. It was to a taxi driver - which means he was my only witness so you're just going to have to trust me on this one...

I said, "Scusa, ho solo cinquanta euro".

I was apologizing to the taxi driver because I only had 50 euros. Remember what I said above about correct change....

A presto e amore a tutti!
Jme